Originally, I had wanted to volunteer this piece to the paper's Voices page. But I decided against it, cos well, I did not want to embarrass myself.
Anyway, I wrote this last week after witnessing several ugly incidents between a relative (shan't name names) and her domestic helper.
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With the arrival of my baby two years ago, a good number of relatives, including my mother, was appalled when I told them I had no intention of getting any domestic help.
Coming from a privileged family who relied on live-in foreign domestic helpers to wash the laundry, prepare meals and pick up after us, their reactions were understandable.
“How can you cope? You’ve never lifted a finger to do any housework?” several aunts and my mother had repeatedly asked me.
Well, to be honest; they were right. Juggling the nitty-gritty’s of domestic chores, a wailing baby and work has not been easy for me. But what they did not know is that I find juggling the “madam-maid” role a lot tougher.
At 26 then, I wasn’t sure if I was up to it. I was also put off by the idea of being responsible for someone else’s livelihood, after witnessing so many negative employer examples.
Many people I know claim that they treat their maids well, but do they really?
A few believe they’re benevolent employers because they give their maids days off. “She (the maid) doesn’t know how lucky she is to be working for me,” one person whom I know very well told me.
Of course, compared to the Madam-from-hell who ill-treats her maid, an employer who gives his domestic helper a monthly day off seems like an angel.
But what prompted the self-righteous proclamation?
About 170,000 domestic workers in Singapore do not get a regular day-off, according the Day Off Campaign website, aimed at getting local employers to give their live-in maids regular personal time off.
Over the years, we’ve had several of such – something which I find ridiculous in a country which calls itself “gracious” and has a literacy rate of 96 per cent, according to 2008 figures from Singapore Department of Statistics’ website.
Why do we need campaigns or anyone to tell us that?
Isn’t a day off a basic labour right?
And isn’t it commonsense that everyone – especially those whose work involve physical labour or chores – need regular time off to recharge?
Many Singaporeans I know cite unwanted pregnancies or mixing around with bad company as some of their top reasons for their reluctance to let their maids have off-days. Over here, employers stand to lose their $5,000 security bond if their domestic helpers become pregnant or run away.
Granted that no one can guarantee that your maid won’t give you any problems (you can’t even ensure that with your own kids), but this should not affect the fair manner in which you should treat her.
Like all of us, a domestic helper – no matter how much less educated or privileged she is compared to you – should be entitled to regular rest days.
And how she chooses to spend her rest day – be it going out with friends or simply bumming at home– is also her entitlement as a human being. And no, I don’t think you’re a particularly model employer just because you give your worker something which is a basic entitlement for a human being.
Bow to me minion, I, your master, pay you $350 a month!
I want to talk about two incidents that I’ve witnessed. While they do not physically constitute maid abuse, I find them emotionally disturbing in this day and age.
One unfortunate incident occurred with an older relative. After my great grandmother passed on, her bed was left vacant. Eventually, it was taken over by my mother’s former maid.
Several older relatives learnt about it, and remarked that the maid should be sleeping on a mattress on the floor and leave the bed vacant. I asked one of them why.
Her answer: maids should not be pampered and so she should not sleep on a bed. C’mon, even my mother’s pet cats sleep on beds.
The other incident occurred in a supermarket. It’s been years and I have not been able to erase the image from my mind.
A middle-aged woman, who was grocery shopping with her daughters and maid, was riling and swearing at her maid – presumably an inexperienced one – for pushing the supermarket trolley too slowly. '
But when the maid hastened her pace, she was yelled at for walking in front of her Madam.
When I caught the woman’s eye and frowned at her, she turned around and yelled at her maid for being lazy and stupid, as if to show who’s Boss.
I was disgusted.
While I do not believe in mollycoddling domestic helpers or suffer substandard work from them just because they come from less privileged backgrounds – that itself is also a form of discrimination - I do not think it is necessary to yell derogatively at your maid to get things done. Or to have them sleep on the floor, so you can assert your authority as the boss.
This is especially so if you do not do this to other people (or even your pets).
If you don’t yell haughty instructions at your kids or colleagues, why would you do so at the maid? Unless, of course, long after those eras of slavery, you’re still unable to shake off the master-slave mentality.
And while you're still living in the middle-ages, please don't tell me what a fabulous "madam" you are. I won't be convinced.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Exciting Times
These are exciting times. An hour after Jubi's second birthday bash ended, her little cousin - my brother's kid - popped out. Presently, the whole family's in a mess and grouchy from lack of sleep because of the new baby.
I've been helping out my sister in law in the mornings too. While the wee one is very cute, he's certainly strengthened my resolve not to have any more kids. I'll be posting several stuff up soon - Jubi's bday bash photos, some pictures of the wee one and my thoughts on ... maids.
Ta!
I've been helping out my sister in law in the mornings too. While the wee one is very cute, he's certainly strengthened my resolve not to have any more kids. I'll be posting several stuff up soon - Jubi's bday bash photos, some pictures of the wee one and my thoughts on ... maids.
Ta!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I want to pluck my brows
Hello everyone,
So sorry about the dead silence for the past weeks.
For those at work, you'll know how terribly hectic everything has been ever since the weekend revamp. To make matters worse, I was down with hives - bad allergy that resulted in a nasty rash all over my body and face. Because it affected my throat and airways, was asked to go to A&E by an overly paranoid GP.
Agh. And the dear spouse had a week's holiday from work - what could be worse, really? Which meant, on top of juggling work, kid, hives, housework and my unplucked brows, I had another "kid" to handle.
But I don't think I should whine too much. A lot of other people have it worse - like the poor old office cleaning auntie who limps a little when she pushes a trolley full of (some of my) rubbish. So there, I shall try to be thankful and happy. And promise to update newer stuff - there's quite a lot - after I finally neaten the unruly bush above my eyes.
Stay healthy :)
So sorry about the dead silence for the past weeks.
For those at work, you'll know how terribly hectic everything has been ever since the weekend revamp. To make matters worse, I was down with hives - bad allergy that resulted in a nasty rash all over my body and face. Because it affected my throat and airways, was asked to go to A&E by an overly paranoid GP.
Agh. And the dear spouse had a week's holiday from work - what could be worse, really? Which meant, on top of juggling work, kid, hives, housework and my unplucked brows, I had another "kid" to handle.
But I don't think I should whine too much. A lot of other people have it worse - like the poor old office cleaning auntie who limps a little when she pushes a trolley full of (some of my) rubbish. So there, I shall try to be thankful and happy. And promise to update newer stuff - there's quite a lot - after I finally neaten the unruly bush above my eyes.
Stay healthy :)
Monday, August 31, 2009
Collection 4
Hello girls, more pretty stuff for your eyes, especially for those stuck at work :)
Most are limited items, so do sms me - 9797 7321 - or drop me an email - evelinegan@yahoo.com - if you want to reserve them. Note: All the pieces here are specially marked down by about 30 per cent from the original retail price, so you'll have to pay for postage delivery if I don't meet you at work, or for a cuppa. Another lor soh thanks to friends who have been very supportive with my Buy-Jubi-Diapers-Fund :)
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COLLECTION 4
Item 1: Little Miss Fashionista Cardi
Price: $28
Material: Cotton lycra and sheer chiffon sleeves
Size: Free size Bust: 32 inches (but can stretch)
Shoulder: 18 inches across
Length: 18 inches
Armhole: 16 inches
Available in black and white.
A lacey frou-frou dress, pearlie handbag and two quirky blouses – this quirky conversational piece is all you need to jazz up a simple outfit, or your horrid Monday blues. Love the now-you-see-my-sexy-arms, now-you-don’t chiffon sleeves.
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Item 2: Sheer Romance
Price: $24
Material: Chiffon
Size: Free Size
Bust: 36-36 inches
Length: 26.5 inches
Armhole: 21 inches
One colour only.
Dreamy chiffon blouse, complete with a ruffles neckline and sexy plunging back. Pair with a simple inner spaghetti top, or even with a tight-fitting tee. Please note that this top is meant to be worn loose-fitting.
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Item 3: Watercolour mirage
Price: $20
Material: Cotton
Size: Free Size
Bust: 36-38 inches
Length: 27 inches
Elastic portion under bust: 38 inches when fully stretched
Available in blue and brown.
Splashes of colour to jazz up your day. If you have great legs and lotsa guts, wear this as a mini dress or simply, pair with skinnies.
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Item 4: Boho tunic
Price: $28
Material: crinkled cotton, beads and tassels
Size: Free Size-
Bust: approx 32 inches but can stretch up to 38 inches due to crinkled cotton fabric
Length: 29 – 30.5 inches (due to uneven patchwork hem)
Armhole: 20 inches
Available in beige/brown
What I love about this piece is that there’re plenty of surprises to be found. Look at the crocheted and beaded details on the neckline, and the uneven patchwork hem.
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Item 5: Fairytale fantasy tunic
Price: $29
Material: Cotton, lace trimmings.
Size: Free Size
Bust: approx 34-36 inches
Armhole: 21 inches
Length: 26.5 inches not including the lace portion at the hem (that’s 9 inches in height)
Available in blue only.
Another one of my favourites. Look at the quirky crocheted and lace hem on this patchwork-inspired tunic. I’ve paired this tunic with a short lace skirt (see next item) for a more layered, “vintagey” look.
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Item 6: Lace skirt
Price: $15
Material: Cotton and lace hem
Size: Free Size
Waist can stretch up to 36 inches.
Total length: 14 inches.
Sheer lace portion is about 4 inches from the bottom.
Available in white and black.
Very easy to wear. On its own or over tights.
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Item 7: Flutter bubble dress
Price: $32
Material: Silk
Size: Free Size
Bust: Up to 38 inches
Length: 28 inches (without straps)
Available in midnight black and angelic white
The little black dress gets a new bubbly look with a pretty neckline, complete with duo-tone floral cutouts, a rope strap, and a sexy bubble hem.
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Item 8: Glam rock chic
Price: $30
Material: Canvas, beads and other bling bling
Width: 10 inches
Height: 6 inches (without straps)
Strap: 16 inches. Comes with a longer strap so you can carry it as a sling bag.
Available in bling-bling black and earthy beige.
Glittery canvas handbag, with hand sewn beads and crystals. My photography skills aren't very good, so I didn't manage to capture the lovely bling-blingness of the beads and crystals. If you order this, and I pass it to you via snail mail, I will bubble wrap beforehand to ensure the beads and crystals are well-protected.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Responsibility
Sometimes, I ask myself: why on earth did I want to have a child?
Don't get me wrong. I love Jubi, and because I love her, I am willing to give up a career which defined me as a person. Because I love Jubi, I am no longer just Eveline. I am also Jubi's mother and Jubi's friend.
Having a child complicates matters. And forces you to be a responsible person, which sometimes, I'd rather not be.
If I get into a squabble, a fight with the spouse, having a child makes you think twice (thrice even) before you hurl that cup of milo at that spouse. Having a child stops you from walking out even when you're at breaking point and feel like you want to fling yourself out from the tallest building.
Having a child in your arms makes you rethink the way you show your anger. Even though you want to hurt yourself and your spouse in that moment of anger, you would never want to hurt your baby by hurting the people she loves.
After having my own family, I've come to realise how spoilt I am. How wanting I am in being a responsible, selfless mother.
Do I always think of the child first? No I don't. Sometimes, I yell at her for trifles. Many times, I've shown violent behaviour while quarrelling with the spouse, causing the little girl to look so frightened that it is forever etched in my mind.
Once, I hurled a bag while in a quarrel. Afterwards, the little one asked in a little, worried voice that broke my heart: Mama throw bag. Why?
And when I sobbed, she put her little arm over my neck and cried with me, not knowing why I cried. But still she wanted to protect the imperfect mama who had forgotten about her baby's fears in her self-pity.
Why did I throw the bag? Why did I choose to forget that I am no longer just Eveline?
Don't get me wrong. I love Jubi, and because I love her, I am willing to give up a career which defined me as a person. Because I love Jubi, I am no longer just Eveline. I am also Jubi's mother and Jubi's friend.
Having a child complicates matters. And forces you to be a responsible person, which sometimes, I'd rather not be.
If I get into a squabble, a fight with the spouse, having a child makes you think twice (thrice even) before you hurl that cup of milo at that spouse. Having a child stops you from walking out even when you're at breaking point and feel like you want to fling yourself out from the tallest building.
Having a child in your arms makes you rethink the way you show your anger. Even though you want to hurt yourself and your spouse in that moment of anger, you would never want to hurt your baby by hurting the people she loves.
After having my own family, I've come to realise how spoilt I am. How wanting I am in being a responsible, selfless mother.
Do I always think of the child first? No I don't. Sometimes, I yell at her for trifles. Many times, I've shown violent behaviour while quarrelling with the spouse, causing the little girl to look so frightened that it is forever etched in my mind.
Once, I hurled a bag while in a quarrel. Afterwards, the little one asked in a little, worried voice that broke my heart: Mama throw bag. Why?
And when I sobbed, she put her little arm over my neck and cried with me, not knowing why I cried. But still she wanted to protect the imperfect mama who had forgotten about her baby's fears in her self-pity.
Why did I throw the bag? Why did I choose to forget that I am no longer just Eveline?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Collection 3!
Hello I've finally gotten down to this. Most are limited items, so do sms me - 9797 7321 - or drop me an email - evelinegan@yahoo.com - if you want to reserve them.
Note: All the pieces here are specially marked down by about 30 per cent from the original retail price, so you'll have to pay for postage delivery if I don't meet you at work, or for a cuppa. Parting note, many thanks to friends who have been very supportive :)
================================================
=================================================
Item 2: Beary Nice
Price: $26
Material: Cotton and linen-material rosettes
Size: Free Size
Bust: 30 inches
Length: 27 inches
Armhole: approx 15 inches
Total height of bear: 8 inches from head to paw
One colour only.
One of the cutest tees I’ve seen. Solid ribbed cotton material, not the flimsy sort.
Please note that the colour of the t-shirt is not as bright/light as depicted in the “outdoor lighting” photo (first pic). The actual purplish blue tone is darker, like the one in the close-up picture - see 2nd and 3rd pictures.
=================================================
Item 3: Peekaboo Crocheted Net Top
Price: $26 Further discount! Now $16, due to slight defect
Material: Crochet and inner cotton slip
Size: Free Size
Bust: approx 34-36 inches
Length: 34 inches
Armhole: approx 17 inches
Available in brown.
The best thing about this netted blouse is you can throw it over almost any tight-fitting top you have - a tight tee, singlet, bikini?
One of my favourite shops at Eastpoint is selling this top at $39. I'm giving a 30 per cent discount to friends. And a further price reduction. You must be wondering why?
If you look closely at the neckline, there is a very, very slight defect in the centre. The neckline isn't sewn perfectly, hence the further discount.
If you're not a fussy wearer, this is a very good steal. Please note that the sizing of the inner slip is quite small.
=====================================================
Item 4: Ethnic embroidered top (Orange sold out. Left blue 1 piece)
Price: $27
Material: Cotton lycra and satin (embroidered part)
Size: Free Size-
Bust: approx 30 inches when unstretched. Lycra material very stretchable.
Length: 27 inches
Armhole: approx 18 inches
Available in orange and blue.
The cut for this top is very flattering. The satin embroidered part ends just slightly above the bust, while the cotton lycra portion is flowy but does not cling to the body.
=====================================================
Item 5: Summer floral cami (Pink/ purple sold. Left green, and turquiose/lightpink 1 piece each)
Price: $24
Material: Cotton
Size: Free Size
Bust: approx 34-36 inches
Length: 22 inches (from bust to end; not including straps)
Available in 3 colours - green, pink/turquoise and pink/purple
Light, breezy cotton cami. Wear it on its own or layer with inner slip.
Light pink/ turquiose
Hot pink/ Purple
===================================================
Item 6: Blowing Bubbles (All sold out)
Price: $24
Material: Cotton
Size: Free Size
Bust: approx 34 but stretchable.
Length: 25 inches
Armhole: 18 inches
Available in blue only.
White cotton part is t-shirt material. Very pretty, and airy. Love the lace hem.
=======================================================
Item 7: Lolita Slip Dress
Price: $26
Material: Cotton and lace
Size: Free Size
Bust: 32 inches +
Length: 28.5 (outer pieces) 33 inches +(inner slip is adjustable)
Armhole: 16 inches +
One colour only.
Two-piece lace slip dress. Inner cotton slip is made of thin (slightly flimsy, in my honest opinion, but breathable as an inner piece) cotton with lace hem. You can wear the outer piece as a top. Versatile. V-neck cutting for both front and back.
Please note that the cut at the bust is slightly small. For those with above 38 inches boobs, it'll be too tight.
=====================================================
Item 8: Crimson Blooms
Price: $28
Material: Polyester Cotton
Size: Free Size
Bust: 30 inches (but stretchable with elastic band at the back)
Length: 37 inches approx/ adjustable straps
Only one colour. One piece left.
Crimson floral trapeze dress. The cotton material for this is solid, not the flimsy sort. Has inner lining and adjustable shoulder straps. Great thing about trapeze dresses is that you can eat a whole hog (no offence to my vegetarian friends) and no one will know your flabby tum is bursting out of your epidermis.
=====================================================
Item 9: Summer Rendezvous (Electric blue sold out. Left dark purple and black)
Price: $32
Material: Cotton and wooden bead tassels
Size: Free Size
Bust: approx 36 - 38 inches
Length: 27 inches
Armhole: 19 inches
Available in dark purple, electric blue and black.
Airy cotton shift dress with wooden beaded tassels. Beaded part is detachable, so you can take it off when you wash the dress. Also versatile for work or play.
Note: All the pieces here are specially marked down by about 30 per cent from the original retail price, so you'll have to pay for postage delivery if I don't meet you at work, or for a cuppa. Parting note, many thanks to friends who have been very supportive :)
================================================
COLLECTION 3
Summer Rendezvous
Item 1: Work of Art Belt (2 pieces left!)
Price: $19
Price: $19
Total Length: 41 inch
Skinny belt with technicolor, hand-painted prism beads. The belt-ends are beaded too (see second pic). Colour & design of each bead vary. No two pieces are alike. I love it. If I had a slimmer, more belt-friendly waist, I would have grabbed one for myself.
=================================================
Item 2: Beary Nice
Price: $26
Material: Cotton and linen-material rosettes
Size: Free Size
Bust: 30 inches
Length: 27 inches
Armhole: approx 15 inches
Total height of bear: 8 inches from head to paw
One colour only.
One of the cutest tees I’ve seen. Solid ribbed cotton material, not the flimsy sort.
Please note that the colour of the t-shirt is not as bright/light as depicted in the “outdoor lighting” photo (first pic). The actual purplish blue tone is darker, like the one in the close-up picture - see 2nd and 3rd pictures.
=================================================
Item 3: Peekaboo Crocheted Net Top
Price: $26 Further discount! Now $16, due to slight defect
Material: Crochet and inner cotton slip
Size: Free Size
Bust: approx 34-36 inches
Length: 34 inches
Armhole: approx 17 inches
Available in brown.
The best thing about this netted blouse is you can throw it over almost any tight-fitting top you have - a tight tee, singlet, bikini?
One of my favourite shops at Eastpoint is selling this top at $39. I'm giving a 30 per cent discount to friends. And a further price reduction. You must be wondering why?
If you look closely at the neckline, there is a very, very slight defect in the centre. The neckline isn't sewn perfectly, hence the further discount.
If you're not a fussy wearer, this is a very good steal. Please note that the sizing of the inner slip is quite small.
=====================================================
Item 4: Ethnic embroidered top (Orange sold out. Left blue 1 piece)
Price: $27
Material: Cotton lycra and satin (embroidered part)
Size: Free Size-
Bust: approx 30 inches when unstretched. Lycra material very stretchable.
Length: 27 inches
Armhole: approx 18 inches
Available in orange and blue.
The cut for this top is very flattering. The satin embroidered part ends just slightly above the bust, while the cotton lycra portion is flowy but does not cling to the body.
=====================================================
Item 5: Summer floral cami (Pink/ purple sold. Left green, and turquiose/lightpink 1 piece each)
Price: $24
Material: Cotton
Size: Free Size
Bust: approx 34-36 inches
Length: 22 inches (from bust to end; not including straps)
Available in 3 colours - green, pink/turquoise and pink/purple
Light, breezy cotton cami. Wear it on its own or layer with inner slip.
Green
Light pink/ turquiose
Hot pink/ Purple
===================================================
Item 6: Blowing Bubbles (All sold out)
Price: $24
Material: Cotton
Size: Free Size
Bust: approx 34 but stretchable.
Length: 25 inches
Armhole: 18 inches
Available in blue only.
White cotton part is t-shirt material. Very pretty, and airy. Love the lace hem.
=======================================================
Item 7: Lolita Slip Dress
Price: $26
Material: Cotton and lace
Size: Free Size
Bust: 32 inches +
Length: 28.5 (outer pieces) 33 inches +(inner slip is adjustable)
Armhole: 16 inches +
One colour only.
Two-piece lace slip dress. Inner cotton slip is made of thin (slightly flimsy, in my honest opinion, but breathable as an inner piece) cotton with lace hem. You can wear the outer piece as a top. Versatile. V-neck cutting for both front and back.
Please note that the cut at the bust is slightly small. For those with above 38 inches boobs, it'll be too tight.
=====================================================
Item 8: Crimson Blooms
Price: $28
Material: Polyester Cotton
Size: Free Size
Bust: 30 inches (but stretchable with elastic band at the back)
Length: 37 inches approx/ adjustable straps
Only one colour. One piece left.
Crimson floral trapeze dress. The cotton material for this is solid, not the flimsy sort. Has inner lining and adjustable shoulder straps. Great thing about trapeze dresses is that you can eat a whole hog (no offence to my vegetarian friends) and no one will know your flabby tum is bursting out of your epidermis.
=====================================================
Item 9: Summer Rendezvous (Electric blue sold out. Left dark purple and black)
Price: $32
Material: Cotton and wooden bead tassels
Size: Free Size
Bust: approx 36 - 38 inches
Length: 27 inches
Armhole: 19 inches
Available in dark purple, electric blue and black.
Airy cotton shift dress with wooden beaded tassels. Beaded part is detachable, so you can take it off when you wash the dress. Also versatile for work or play.
In electric blue and black
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